Maybe More than Rehashing

New Job

2009-01-03T22:02:00.002-05:00

It's been a year, and I did get that new job that was mentioned in that last message.

My son James was born September 26. He is awesome.

Jen is spectacular and mind-blowing, as always.

One big reason for this post is to make sure this blog isn't shut down for some unexpected reason.

Ok, back to work!

Differing Anticipation

2008-02-28T12:49:00.002-05:00

So the potential for a job still exists, but the reality of it is not so close.

I spoke with the gentleman today and he said that there is not a position as of yet, and that it would have to be created before I could fill it. However, I'm still going to play bass there.

So I have step one down: get in the door. Inside I'll find every single thing I can get my hands on and do it. Once I've worked my butt off hard enough they may finally realize the need for a new man on board.

I'm going to make an arbitrary list of steps now:

Step One: Get in the Door

Step Two: Get Down to Business

Step Three: Lose Sleep

Step Four: Lose More Sleep But Still Work Super Hard

Step Five: Brief Nervous Breakdown

Step Six: Hired Out of Pity!

Well, with this Road Map, who could lose?

Gave In

2008-02-20T19:52:00.001-05:00

I gave in and emailed the fellah.

No response.

But then again, it is wednesday and this is a job at a church.

Patience

2008-02-19T12:54:00.002-05:00

Patience is not my strong point. I have a job opportunity that is potentially coming up, all I have to do is wait for the phone call.

But what if he is forgetting to call? What if I need to jog his memory? What if he changes his mind about me because i didn't call and show initiative to....

And my pulse quickens and blood pounds in anticipation.

Then I read today's "My Utmost for His Highest," and realize that it's ok.

"Whenever God gives us His inspiration, suddenly taking the initiative becomes a moral issue - a matter of obedience. Then we must act to be obedient..."

God gave me some inspiration and I acted on it. Now I must be patient again, as I almost was before.

But if you read any previous posts you will notice that patience hasn't been my strength before.

Conviction, Future

2008-02-07T18:36:00.001-05:00

I talked with Dad about stuff today at lunch. That's the kind of thing we do every week: we eat lunch and discuss things. Sometimes we merely consider the importance of weather, but often we discuss more weighty things. Today was weighty.

We talked about Dad's trip with my brother John. They went up to a pastor's conference led by John Piper that was held in Minnesota, it was for fathers and sons. They had a great time hanging out and being encouraged by the brothers that shared the word. But that wasn't where the weight of the conversation was, it was in work.

I don't love my job. I don't love my vocation, just not my meal ticket. What I do is tedious, mind-numbing and I am a little ashamed of it, too. But my vocation is awesome: I'm a missionary. In my mind.

I'm a missionary, but I'm not "down range." I'm waiting for an opportunity.

But how am I waiting? I'm just sitting around. I'm not praying, I'm not furthering my studies, I'm just sitting and waiting for something to happen. That is foolish.

And the real kicker is found here.

Rehashing

2008-02-07T10:51:00.000-05:00

There always seems to be new things in the church, until we find that those things that seem to be new are not. The church is continually recycling ideas, and this is usually done by the historically ignorant. I am ignorant myself, so please keep that in mind. House churches, strict membership, family centric, each of these ideas have all been in the church from its inception. The truth is that nothing is new, just the people experiencing it.
This is a reminder to myself and an admonition to others: let us not be overbold in our opinions. Though we think we are hitting on something superbly grand and new, we are not. Though our hearts scream that everyone must follow this brand of fellowship, we are wrong. Instead, pursue your passions for the glory of God and not yourself.

The latter is the trap into which I fall too often.

2008 election

2008-01-31T10:39:00.000-05:00

I stopped paying attention a while ago. It turns out that even with Romney accusing McCain of not being conservative enough, there is no real conservative out there. Though Romney has a little something going for him, McCain sure doesn't. It's so lame that there is no one out there that SCREAMS conservative.

It looks like we're all going to be stuck voting for McCain or Clinton. So instead of voting for a candidate, I'll be voting against Hillary.

Macbook Air

2008-01-30T19:50:00.000-05:00

What I'm going to say is nothing new, but it is my opinion informed by several other tech gurus (especially Buzz Out Loud).

As far as the Macbook Air goes, it's too new for its own good (but it still won't be a full-time computer).

1. Battery - in five years batteries will be much more powerful because of the infusion of nanotubes. At that point we will have the kind of battery life necessary to make this product (with an internal, difficult battery) useable. And for some reason I am convinced that I saw that apple was working on a better charging system for batteries.

2. Optical Drives are still highly used and even an external drive or the wireless option only goes so far.

3. The USB Drive is placed in a very strange place for it to work with many normal dongles. I have heard from a few sources techie places that there are lots of things that just won't fit in there without an extension

4. Disk space is another issue since many people want or need more space. In a year or two the Flash drives will have caught up to where we want them to be in size and price. At that point this thing would be more feasible.

5. Lastly people just want more speed out of these things. But this isn't the mac to do that since it is supposed to be little, not that powerful. Right now it is the slowest computer that Apple sells, but that's ok: it's super small.

This will definitely be an interesting step for apple as they are looking to the future with this. Another person made the point that this is forging the way much as the Powerbook Titanium did many years ago. I think that guy is right: though this computer has its shortcomings, it is going to set a bar that is VERY high.

If I had some sweet fat rolls of cash sitting around I would make that mess happen, I think it's pretty neat. But my tax return isn't THAT big this year.

Writing

2008-01-30T16:08:00.000-05:00

I looked at this link and felt compelled to get back into blogging with severe consistency:
Desiring God

Some guy named Josh

2008-01-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

A curious thing happened at church on sunday and it took a little processing before I could get it all down in my mind. It started about the middle of the service when a guy named Josh called the church. So the one who answered asked what it was all about and how we could help him and he said he wanted to talk to someone around his age and who wasn't a minister. So someone grabbed David since the others around my age were all on stage (I should say, the other: not many around my age there).
Josh wanted to talk about whether or not I was a "real" Christian, whether or not I am fake. I told him no, of course not. Then he asked if I wear a mask, and I said sometimes. He was upset about that, but wouldn't let me explain since he only wanted a yes or no. (In all honesty, I mask my anger most of all.) So Josh seemed to be taking a survey or something and he got upset with me and wanted to talk to someone else. But I didn't really give him a good reason to be upset, all I did was answer yes when he asked if I'm a minister. Josh hates ministers, "They're all just about sex, money and lies."
"I haven't lied to you, Josh"
"But you will."

So he was a pleasant guy and my inclination was to snipe back and be rude, but I wore my mask and acted as I know Christ would have me act: I was polite and gave him no reason to bring the gospel into disrepute. Before he shot me down I had totally represented Christianity rightly and told him about salvation and heaven. But I still had nagging doubts. I felt like he may have a had a point: maybe I'm not a true Christian, maybe I need to reevaluate. And I was a little bummed sunday because of it.

This morning opened up "The Bruised Reed" and these were the first sentences I read:
"Not withstanding, when we are cast into times and places wherein doubts are raised about principal points, here people ought to labour to be established. God suffers questions oftentimes to arise for trial of our love and exercise of our abilities. Nothing is so certain as that which is certain after doubts. Shaking settles and roots."

And so "The Heavenly Doctor Sibbes" aided in remedying a poor sinner from the future.

Laces

2007-08-28T18:40:00.000-04:00

Tonight she said, "I don't think you know how great you are, or how great you could become if you would just do what you need to do."

She's right, and I've been saying it all of my life. That's why I'm saying it now, I've got to end this foolishness and do something with my life. I've got responsibilities I'm not living up to, and there are lives in which I could be invested. If I want to make something of myself later, I've got to start now.

This is nothing new, I said this 6 years ago and every day ever since. I keep on hoping I'll see something happen in the future, and I keep thinking the future is in the distance; it never is. As kooky as it sounds, the future is now. Some ancient guy once said that the path of a million miles begins with one step; I haven't even tied my shoes yet.

It's time I lace these puppies up and get movin

1 Peter 3.20

2007-08-16T12:51:00.000-04:00

I read this passage and come to a realization: this is perfectly speaking to the idea of predestination. God chose Noah and the other 7 over and against all others, a vast number of persons.
Looking at the lineage that led up to Noah, we see only the first born man of each man (chiefly), which indicates a much larger amount of people. So there was likely a large number of persons given over to death by water inhalation.
God chose Noah, he chose Abraham, he chose the Israelites, he chose to be a man and die for all the Christians that he has chosen. I can't see anything that fights God's sovereignty in the Word.

To my dear children

2007-08-11T17:02:00.000-04:00

The hope and desire of every youth minister and every parent is that their children will be strong in the Lord. My very earnest prayer is that I would not fail in teaching you. That I would do my absolute best to teach you how to feed yourself, and that you would no longer crave spiritual milk.
You need to know that there is no such thing as an absolutely personal walk with Jesus, that without other iron you will not grow more sharp. But you must steel yourselves through the reading, memorization, and practice of the Word of God.

God help me, I don't really know how to do what I just described. I love teaching, but I have so far to go before I really understand how to do it. I spend so little time actually doing it and not preparing well enough for it.

Discipline. That's what I need, but I don't do well with it personally, and I'm not good at meeting it out.

Complaining

2007-07-31T18:12:00.000-04:00

Though the last and first post was much more high and lofty, I still must complain. These past few days at my workplace have been horrific. I don't know why I must remain here, but I see nothing in my future. It feels so bleak.

I want this blog to be about more than daily complaints and frustrations, but this is one that is intrinsic, essential to all persons: the sense of purpose. Without purpose people die: the older generation withers, and the younger chooses violent ends. People need to feel needed and that they are fulfilling something.

But I am filling a need at my church, and I love my church. I do fill a needed position at my workplace, and I enjoy my paycheck (though I could never raise a family on it). However, I hate where I work and I know I will never be paid by my church.

I know, the answer is, "Do something about it!" There's the problem. Every time in my life that I have come to the point where I want to do something about it, I find I'm in the wrong and terribly so. I make the wrong choice and feel it immediately. Many times I have had to wait on the Lord for illumination on the right path, and those have always worked out. So I want to wait because I think it the most expedient thing to do.

But I had to move to find and date Jen. She didn't come to me, and here we are married.

I had to move to find the LCCC and that is where God wants me and has me.

Now, how do I move to find my next step?

The only move I know is to pray, and I'm thoroughly bothered that I just don't see the doors opening for us while I'm on my knees.

The Gift of Discernment?

2007-07-24T23:30:00.000-04:00

This is a strange topic to use to start a blog, but may be a tone-setter.

I have the fear that I have the gift of discernment and have not made good use of it. I had a friend once and he could have used my insight; I knew his woman to be bad for him and said nothing. I know people when I meet them. I know if I a person can be trusted, and I usually know if one is a christian. My earlier friend wasn't confident in his faith and his lady-friend wasn't either. Instead of leading each other closer to God, they spiraled and are now living in some random place and only married for the tax breaks. He claims no God and she desires none; it breaks me. I need to exercise my gift.

I know of another man whose wife I only met once. Something was wrong and I didn't say anything. I looked at her and felt a serious problem in her spirit. I'm confused, but I think he is divorced now.

It's not perfect science (I'm sure there is no such thing), but these are only meant to be two vague examples to back up the below point.

I have another friend that is getting married soon and I have sensed the same from his woman. I didn't realize what this meant until this week: I don't want to see anything similar happen. I'm torn on how to approach his brother about it - how could one approach a man about his fiancée? - but I know I must. If there is anyone out there feeling similar, it must be exposed.

The only second guess is worry about losing a dear friend for whom I have much love.